I'm back to work after a long hiatus with two kids. Though I wanted to teach kindergarten when I returned, getting what you want doesn't always work out. If a blacklight were held up to me at the end of the day, I would look like a CSI crime scene. These are some of the personalities I've been working with:
The New Arrival: Not one word of English or any language you understand. You can't pronounce their name so they don't respond. It's pointless trying to tell them they can't eat paste.
The Neglected: Parents don't read anything you send home. They hang up on you. They send a babysitter or neighbour to pick them up. They don't send proper shoes or a snack unless two stalks of green onions still covered in dirt count (I'm serious).
The Crier: Can last 5 minutes to as much as 2 weeks. Can cry for a full 2.5 hours non-stop. Will cry during any transition. Will cry when others cry. Will start crying again when they realize they are having fun.
The Screamer: Similar to the Crier except for the incredible octaves they can achieve.
The Runner: Takes every opportunity to run for the door. Any door. Runners must be stopped by tackling and using moves similar to those found in UFC.
The Siamese Twins: Won't do anything without each other and will become Criers if told otherwise.
The O.D. Kid: Will give you a hell of a time if you ask them to do ANYTHING. Will refuse to do anything you request even if its something they want to do.
The Passive Aggressive Kid: Similar to the O.D. Kid, but instead of yelling, NO! they will give you cut eyes, the evil eye, or a blank stare that can last all class.
Little Miss Bossy: Exactly that. Knows everything. Does nothing.
The Baby: Was born in the end of December so qualifies to enter Kindergarten even though they are barely 3 years old.
The Giant: Often mistaken for a 3rd Grader, the Giant was born in January and is the Baby's direct opposite (and often, best friend).
The As-Yet-Undiagnosed: You know there's something wrong. You know that Mom knows something's wrong. A mountain of paper work will need to be done upon the entry of this kid.
The Diagnosed: This fully behavioural darling comes with paperwork already done. Drawbacks are the parents want them integrated into your class of New Arrivals, Neglected, Criers, Screamers, Runners, Twins, OD, Passive-Aggressive, Bossy, Baby, and Giant kids.
