More poo

Though work is heck, at least I'm never bored. Here's a story that happened to one of my colleagues yesterday:

Tommy had a really bad accident in his pants. Poop all over. To his credit, he tried to take of it. He stripped down completely and began washing his clothes in the toilet.

"What are you doing???" his teacher cried. "I'm going to call your parents to come get you!" At this point, this poor, naked, embarrassed thing was covered in poo, up to his elbows in poo, and had covered the toilet and walls with poo. Realizing he was doing the wrong thing, he immediately came out of the washroom and continued washing his poopy clothes in the sink.

"Ahhhh! What are you doing???" she screamed. Now there was poo on the classroom sink and floor as well. "Your parents are coming. Don't move. I'm calling the caretaker."

Poor Tommy. Naked, covered in poo, and only trying to fix things. It couldn't get worse.

"What do you want?" grumbles the disgruntled caretaker. He looks over. "Whaaaat????!!!!!"

I hope Tommy has a better day.

Kiddy-isms

My two year old son:

Mommy. Sun. Go down!

Me: Yes, the sun is going down.

Awwww. Sorry.

Me: Why are you sorry? Did YOU make the sun go down?

Yesth.


My daughter while flushing:

Bye-bye poo! See you later!

On the size of poo:

Look mommy! Three poos! A daddy poo, a mommy poo, and a baby poo! It's a family!

On the shape of poo:

Mommy! It looks like a toothbrush!

On the sequence of poo:

Me: Did you poo or pee?

Poo! And pee! Together!

Hell: Week 5

Extreme "Whack-A-Mole" continues and though the numbers have decreased slightly, the monkeys I have more than make up for few bodies that have yet to show up. I have to sadly admit that it has gotten the best of me. I am HATING my job. I feel I am at the mercy of these monsters who have no concept of cause and effect. Reward or punishment. They are worse than Pavlov's dogs. In fact, if they were a Pavlovian dog, they would say, "How come he gets a treat? I want one! It's not fair. I don't want no bell. Bell? I'm going to go chew on my butt over here. Squirrel!" Pavlov would put them down.

Some strategies that are (unfortunately) working is rearranging all my furniture in order to corral them for lessons. With only 2 narrow escape routes, we gatekeepers can at least keep them in one small area. Not that it helps much. While trapped in this oval, they manage to do other damage such as pulling things off my bulletin board or taking all the books off my bookcase.

I could deal with all this if I felt the parents or administration were behind me. I gave some constructive feedback on how one kid was doing and the psycho dad, irrate with my "unfounded complaints," went straight to the principal to protest my groundless accusations. I was told to keep quiet from now on and don't say anything negative to him anymore. (???????)

If I must, say only good things. Yes, lie. (?????????)

Exhausted from dealing with exhausted children, I was also told to "not teach" in the afternoon and that it wouldn't hurt them academically. (??????)

All of us were having trouble finding our stride with our ECE partners. They were called in for a meeting and scolded for "touching" them (hugging, picking up, kissing). My partner took it very personally and now, in a really exaggerated manner, won't touch them at all. To the detriment of classroom management.

Difficult parents, kids, administration, and ECE. Maybe I'll go back to chef training.

Full Day Kindergarten...Week one

Oh. My. God. 31 three, four, and five year olds. 1 ECE teacher. Too many minutes in a school day for these little guys. Not enough hours in a day to plan, prepare, or rest. I am the living dead right now animated only by adrenaline and bananas. I don't know how I am going to handle Monday because not all students showed up today because of Eid celebrations. Monday will be all of them, plus 3 student teachers from Japan who would like to see how a Canadian classroom is run. It runs like a game of Whack-A-Mole except the moles manage to run out of their holes and all over the C.N.E.

I'm going to go and drink now...

The end of summer....

For me, the end of summer is often heralded by the opening of the CNE, morning glories blooming on fences, and TIFF ads. There are also a number of premature signs in summer that freak me out and make me insane!

1. Back to school sales in the end of June.
2. End of summer clearance sales in July
3. Halloween costumes and candy at Costco.
4. Snowblowers on sale (today at Lowe's)
5. Christmas merchandise being displayed.

Aaaaahhhh! Summer is over!

Mr. Hong Kong

Last night, I was watching Chinese TV with my parents and lo and behold, the 2010 Mr. Hong Kong pageant was on. Simply said, it was a laughfest. The dudes were very metrosexual and mostly very common looking. What was worst was the talent portion of the show which clearly proved that they scrambled to learn something last minute because they were not talented in anything but to look sulky (and maybe play Final Fantasy). No one took this seriously, even the judges who were a bunch of giggling cougars and college girls in lounge chairs. If these are the hottest guys Hong Kong has to offer, I'll look elsewhere. Wait. My husband is from Hong Kong.....



William Chak crowned Mr. Hong Kong 2010

CNE delicacies

Above, deep fried butter.

If you have not done so already, here are some of the more interesting food items to check out at the CNE this year.

At the kiosk outside of the Direct Energy Building, look for the enormous line up. There you can get deep fried butter, deep fried Twinkies, deep fried Mars bars, chocolate covered bacon.


Inside the Direct Energy Building and the Arts and Crafts Building are stalls that sell Carmichael's meat. They mostly sell jerky and summer sausage but there are some very exotic offerings this year such as camel, kangaroo, biltok (?), in addition to their usual wild boar, alligator, emu, and pepperoni sticks (which are addictive and delicious).

Only other thing of note this year are the beautiful miniature orchid plants (4-5 inches tall) for $13 at the Direct Energy Building. My mom seemed to like that more than the kangaroo jerky.