Friday, June 22, 2012

Hot Men: Ser Jorah Mormont

I've finished watching Game of Thrones, Season Two. I couldn't quite put my finger on it...whenever I saw Jorah, I got little tingles. Not the type I usually find attractive because I don't usually like scruffy fellas. But, HELLO! I realized he was my new Hot Man! 

Steely blue eyes, chiseled features, and a strong, handsome build. This banished knight lovingly protects the "Mother of Dragons." Will they get together? I hope so! 

Noooooo!!!! Diiiiirty!

Kids are gross and mine are no different from the average. Here are a few moments that have made me say:

Noooooo!!!! Diiiiirty!




7. Drinking bath water, pool water, dog water.

6. Eating grass, dropped food, dog food.

5. Lying down on sidewalks, public washroom floors, the grass/ground around trees, poles, and fire hydrants.

4. Licking window screens, window panes, door knobs, subway poles...


3. Kid messily blowing their nose then absentmindedly using it to wipe their mouth.

2. My kids exploding their diaper then grabbing at the mess with both hands, then touching their heads.

1. My son  face plowing into an abandoned mattress on the side of the street then rolling in it.



You've probably heard of worse. Please feel free to share your shiny moments!





Thursday, June 21, 2012

Candyland

My kids were goofing around, laughing in the living room. I asked them what they were playing. "We're in CANDYLAND mommy!" they exclaim. "Everything here is made of candy!"

"Best land ever!" I reply and I pretend to eat part of a chair. My 3 year old reaches up and smacks me in the face. "Mommy, when you eat anything in Candyland, you get punched in the face."

"What? That's the worst land ever!" I grab another piece of sofa and pretend to eat it and promptly get punched in the face.

"That's it! No more candy for me! I don't like it here!" I say indignantly.

"No, mommy. Eat more candy." pleads my son.

"No way." I reply.

So ninja-boy grabs up some sofa, leaps into the air and deftly grabs my face as he shoves imaginary candy-furniture into my pursed lips....and then punches me in the face.

At least they have a good imagination.