The end of summer....

For me, the end of summer is often heralded by the opening of the CNE, morning glories blooming on fences, and TIFF ads. There are also a number of premature signs in summer that freak me out and make me insane!

1. Back to school sales in the end of June.
2. End of summer clearance sales in July
3. Halloween costumes and candy at Costco.
4. Snowblowers on sale (today at Lowe's)
5. Christmas merchandise being displayed.

Aaaaahhhh! Summer is over!

Mr. Hong Kong

Last night, I was watching Chinese TV with my parents and lo and behold, the 2010 Mr. Hong Kong pageant was on. Simply said, it was a laughfest. The dudes were very metrosexual and mostly very common looking. What was worst was the talent portion of the show which clearly proved that they scrambled to learn something last minute because they were not talented in anything but to look sulky (and maybe play Final Fantasy). No one took this seriously, even the judges who were a bunch of giggling cougars and college girls in lounge chairs. If these are the hottest guys Hong Kong has to offer, I'll look elsewhere. Wait. My husband is from Hong Kong.....



William Chak crowned Mr. Hong Kong 2010

CNE delicacies

Above, deep fried butter.

If you have not done so already, here are some of the more interesting food items to check out at the CNE this year.

At the kiosk outside of the Direct Energy Building, look for the enormous line up. There you can get deep fried butter, deep fried Twinkies, deep fried Mars bars, chocolate covered bacon.


Inside the Direct Energy Building and the Arts and Crafts Building are stalls that sell Carmichael's meat. They mostly sell jerky and summer sausage but there are some very exotic offerings this year such as camel, kangaroo, biltok (?), in addition to their usual wild boar, alligator, emu, and pepperoni sticks (which are addictive and delicious).

Only other thing of note this year are the beautiful miniature orchid plants (4-5 inches tall) for $13 at the Direct Energy Building. My mom seemed to like that more than the kangaroo jerky.

Reflections on Motherhood Part 2: Sunshine and Lollipops

Avoiding all the gloopy, Hallmark style poetic musings of motherhood, I want to give balance to my last post on motherhood by reflecting on my own personal experience of having two children. It wasn't love at first sight. In fact, when my first child was born, I thought I was dying. I was in active labour for 5 hours straight (pushing for 5 hours)after more than 24 hours of contractions. I was dehydrated, nauseous, pale, and my heart rate was crazy and I was getting feverish. The sight of my crying, wet daughter did not make me elated. All I wanted was someone to give me water and make me not die. That passed. I clearly remember a quiet moment with her by my hospital bed. Looking at her little body and thinking, "One day you'll grow up, maybe get married..." then I became a weeping idiot.

Everything changed. Who I am and what I love hasn't changed but my priorities and perspective have changed and I think that has made me a better person. I care more about the world because my children will be living in it. I am a better teacher because I have a new understanding and appreciation of a child's development and a parent's struggle. Suddenly, every child is my child and the pain and suffering of other children is felt keenly by me. Though I've always loved food, taste is no longer the primary feature. Nutrition, sustainability, and environmental impact have suddenly become just as important. Though my body has changed, I feel empowered. Prior to having children, I was shy and self conscious of my body. But after what my body has been through, I bear the stretch marks and C-section scars like badges of honour. I walk confidently through Body Blitz Spa (clothing optional) imperfect but happy. I want to be healthy but no longer want to fight with my body to attain a certain weight or image. I am comfortable with myself.

Though we struggle, I love my husband for the father he has become. He has teary moments when his love of our children threatens to burst his chest. He spoils them then chastises himself for doing so. He patiently teaches them to climb and swim, to greet others appropriately and to treat others well. Having children has evened his temper. He takes greater care in how he drives and how he conducts himself. Once reckless and carefree, he is sharply aware that he is needed. Though we have our differences, my husband and I hold fast to one rule, which is to keep a united front. We support each other and do our best.

We are not the only ones who have changed. My parents suddenly have a reason for taking better care of themselves. My father drinks far less and eats better. He spends his evenings gardening with them or filling a tub of water in the backyard so they can bathe under our pear tree. My mother cuddles them endlessly and takes great joy in playing with them or creating art inspired by Mr. Maker. My childrens' laughter fills their home and has made my parents very happy. Even my sisters have changed. Never having had young children around us, my kids were an eye-opener for all of us. The youngest sister has taken on various duties of care, entertainment, and guardianship. She takes them to daycare or programs and she patiently cuts paper shapes for them to make art with. She is the rock of discipline in their home. The middle sister no longer wants to eat children and has developed a tender, maternal side of herself. Also a consistent disciplinarian, she is firm yet caring and she (and her hubby) have helped me through my first year at home with a baby.

Finally, my kids. I can't express how much I love them. They are quirky and funny. Smart and silly. Yes, they are a pain and they fight and they can be demanding but then they reach up and say, "Mommy, I nuv ooo!" and everything else melts away. "All joy and no fun" is an apt title for the article that began this post but that JOY is worth it. I look forward to more joy to come.

Hot Men: Donnie Yen

For some reason, I've never really noticed Donnie Yen before though he has been in countless movies for a very long time. Perhaps it is because my interest in hot men is usually limited to interesting characters as opposed to the actor themselves. He is an incredible martial artist whose talent rivals (and I think exceeds) that of Jet Li and Jackie Chan.




A quick search also reveals that he speaks fluent English, Cantonese, and Mandarin and is a classically trained pianist. In this rare instance when I find a real man hot, it goes without saying that this fella has the whole package.










From mute vampire (Blade 2) to underwear model, Donnie is yum!

Pate: Epilogue

Done and done. I was a nattering lunatic once they injected painkiller into my IV. I was watching how the ceiling tiles cascaded like a waterfall before my eyes and I couldn't stop remarking about how neat it was to the doctor and nurse. The local injection was ok but didn't seem to dull the pain of the actual extraction of liver. It felt like I was being stabbed by a knife. In my daze, I turned about and asked to see the size of the offensive instrument that just punctured my liver. It looked like a fishing rod but I'll never be sure since I was drugged and half blind. Recovery at the hospital was painful and full of hallucinations for the first 2 hours. After that, I was bored. Now home, I just awoke in a panic because I was worried no one picked up my daughter from daycare! Fortunately, everything was taken care of by the hubby. Since I can't lift anything heavier than 10 lbs for the next 24 hours (otherwise my kidneys will fall out), I plan on watching tv and folding laundry when the husband isn't looking.

Pate, anyone?

Thursday is my appointment for a liver biopsy. Originally, I was not at all nervous about it but as my sleeplessness and dreams would indicate, I am getting concerned about my health. I've been dreaming about my finger nails falling off, sort of in the style of "The Fly" where Jeff Goldblum falls apart by pieces as he slowly transforms into the fly.

The procedure will be simple. One needle to freeze my side and the second one to go between the ribs and take out a piece of liver. They asked if they end up taking more than they need, could they have it for research purposes? I said, "Yes, as long as you don't clone me." The nurse replied, "Why does everyone say that?" Too much sci-fi!

Well, wish me luck!

My Hubby vs. The World

My husband imagined as the powerful and eternal Bruce Lee.


Inspired by the new Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World movie, I imagined what it would be like if my hubby had to fight all my ex-boyfriends. Wanting anonymity for everyone involved, I chose to use famous people that look like or remind me of the guys I dated. (In no particular order. Not all guys are represented. Ho!)








James Marsden: The sulky and somewhat whiny boyfriend that shoots lasers out of his eyes.






Taboo: The bad-ass, cool guy that gives people the creeps. Has the power to freak you out.












Conan O'Brien: Has the power to reduce you to tears by making others laugh at you.












John Smith: If you watch Pocahontas 2, you'll find that John Smith is a cheating cad who doesn't return Pocahontas' calls. Like a coward, his power is to use a gun.











Jonathan Rhys Meyers: Imagined power is to take your head off. Real power is to use his Ji-jitsu to put you into embarrassing submissions.












Colin Chou: Of Matrix fame, enjoys wearing very little to distract his opponents.












Tilda Swinton: The hubby insisted that I add this to the list too. Tilda is a fierce opponent who swoops down on her angel wings and lays waste to those who oppose her. (Much like her character Gabriel from Constantine. Or her character White Witch from Narnia. Either one. She goes both ways.)

Reflections on Motherhood Part 1: The Dark Side

Controversial artist, Vanessa Beecroft.

A very interesting article called, "All Joy and No Fun: Why Parents Hate Parenting" came to my attention that has caused me to do some serious reflection and introspection. The premise of the article is,

Most people assume that having children will make them happier. Yet a wide variety of academic research shows that parents are not happier than their childless peers, and in many cases are less so. This finding is surprisingly consistent, showing up across a range of disciplines.

"No!" was my immediate reaction to the whole idea. "Having children is a happy, wonderful, and natural thing that I have always wanted." My sentiments were supported in the article, saying that "(the findings) violate a parent’s deepest intuition." But to my horror and dismay, I began to realize that what it says is true. With great reluctance, I must admit that having children is not fun. The reality is that every facet of your life as you know it will change. Your body, relationships, friends, and lifestyle. And for what? Why do we have children anyway?

Historically, we had children to hunt and gather, tend the fields or mind the livestock. Children were an investment that would help secure your retirement and care. They would ensure your immortality through the passing of the family name or perhaps continue your legacy through a family business. But why do we have children in these modern times?

We hardly need more people. In fact, a friend stated that there worst thing you could do for the environment is to have a child. We do not need them for financial security and few people care about the passing on of names or the support or continuation of a business. I believe we have them because A. We are expected by society AND ourselves to have children. B. We believe children will make us happier.

Am I happier? I once convinced myself that I'm not going to be THAT kind of Mom. I believed I was ahead of the game because I would exercise, maintain my interests and hobbies. Make time for my relationship with my husband and because we have good communication, we thought we were a perfect parenting team because we were on the same track in terms of discipline style and ideals. We weren't going to have THOSE problems everyone warns us of. Well, yes and no.

Though I have gone back to my pre-pregnancy weight, I have not gone back to my original shape. My feet are a little bigger and my skin is dimply. I'd like to believe that no mom, Hollywood moms included, emerges physically unscathed by the changes in pregnancy.

There's no time for hobbies. Serious arrangements have to be made to put aside the time needed to dedicate to things I once enjoyed. Laundry, cooking, household upkeep and childcare take up all the time in a day. What time is left, is dedicated to my new hobbies of stimulating my children through outings, and activities. Every facet of my life has changed. Even the simplest choices are affected from the food I make, the time we eat and sleep, to the kind of fabric I wear, and the timing of my life to fit my kids' nap schedule. I managed to do some painting a year back but the subject matter became cartoon sea life because I thought my kids might like it!

It's a lot of work and it doesn't end. There's no break from it, only mild lulls that usually results in a rush of more chores. Guilt, stress, and worry often plague many moms and for me, guilt is the worst. Even as I am writing this, I am thinking I should be spending more time with my son instead of this. I should be cleaning the toilets instead of wasting time. However, this is often a state of mind for a person such as myself who needs to have a number of accomplishments done at the end of each day in order to feel worthwhile. Call it a neurotic work ethic.

I'm not going to go into lengths about how important dad's are because that's obvious. I don't want to defend them apologetically because I know this part is controversial and will ignite passions. I'll just say that men and women are different and each couple is different. My personal perspective in my own relationship is that despite all our discussions prior to having children, my hubby and I are still at opposite ends when it comes to child rearing. We are tired and worn out and we are not at our best. What we have left over of ourselves at the end to the day is not enough to properly maintain a relationship at times. Sleep is the new sex, as many would say about parenthood. We don't have the patience for each other because it is spent on the children. There are times when I look over and wonder, "Who are you?" as the stress and tiredness changes us both. We look at each other and think we need to compensate for each others shortcomings which in turn, worsens the problem. For example, being more rigid vs. being more lax, frugal vs. generous, fast vs. slow. It spirals into a situation where both people are at odds.

So why did I have kids? I believe every person has kids for "selfish" reasons. I want someone to be there when I'm older to enjoy warm family occasions with. Someone to call on for company. To have connections with people that have a bond deeper than friendship. I do not expect them to take care of me in my old age. I am sentimental and I value traditions and holidays and the closeness a family can bring. That's all for me and that's why I say it's selfish. I could do the same by adopting and doing greater good at the same time, but again, I want my own flesh and blood first. Then, you give every ounce of yourself to this little person. So is parenting fun? Hell, no. It's hard, stressful, tiring, and at times, very unrewarding. Would I do it all again? Hell, yes.

(To be continued: Reflections on Motherhood Part 2)

So hip it hurts

Last week I attended the Black Eyed Peas concert at ACC. "Black Eyed Peas?!" my sister exclaims. "I didn't know you even liked them." She knows well that I favour retro tunes, rock, and broadway. She was probably wondering if I thought I was attending some kind of legumes festival. "Sure, I do." I said but only after googling them to figure out what they actually sang. Fortunately, their music is so popular that someone as out to lunch as me still knew their music.
The last 3 concerts I've attended were Aerosmith, David Bowie, and Kiss. I figured I'd better prepare myself so I traded my baggy jeans for tight jeans. My tight top for a loose be-jeweled top. My canvas back pack for a stylish purse. Make up and high heels completed my updated look. Babysitting was secured so we were ready for a night on the town in a VIP lounge courtesy of RBC. The open bar was a surprise and I ended up as smashed as a frosh on a Friday night. The music was loud, the night late, and my feet hurt but the seats were great and they didn't even try to make us open an account or anything. After my fourth drink, I knew that I would pay for it the next day. "Mom, I won't be able to take the kids to swim lessons tomorrow." I slurred over the blaring music. Ten years ago, we would have gone clubbing after the concert then head to Denny's in the morning but all I wanted to do was sleep. Oh, how times have changed.

Old Wives Tales or Ancient Chinese Secret?

My pregnant friend invited us over for a bbq recently and I offered to bring her watermelon as a contribution. "Oh, no. I can't eat watermelon because of the baby." I suddenly remembered my own two pregnancies and all the restrictions our culture imposes for the sake of the child and mother. How quickly I forgot that watermelon is considered too "cool" for a pregnant woman's body and it is believed that it may have negative affects on the growing baby. In our culture, foods are considered to be either yin or yang, hot or cool, but this does not really encompass the entire meaning. "Hot" foods are considered to cause inflammation. For example, fried foods, coffee, and durian. "Cool" foods are often fresh fruit, melons, and vegetables, but foods that are too cool (such as my dad's vegetable juice elixir) can make some people light headed. To complicate things further, other foods are considered to be "boe" or have healing factors. These are good for pregnant women but not good for those with high blood pressure as they can cause headaches. Some such foods are red bean and meat and alcohol. Now the superstition comes into play. Homophones are regarded with great caution. Eat shrimp because the word for shrimp sounds like "laugh" and that's good. Don't eat strawberries on special occasions because it sounds like "lots of trouble." Then, there's just plain crazy. Don't eat that or your baby will look like it. A pregnant woman's diet therefore, is heavily scrutinized as our culture would believe the unchecked consumption of food as a jeopardy to the lives of two people. I was not allowed to eat watermelon (too cool). No snake or the baby will have scales (oh, darn). No watching scary movies or the baby will look like a monster (movies affect DNA?). No dark things either, even soy sauce. Apparently it would make my baby black. (It was the soy sauce, I swear!)