Shameless mommy blogging

Warning: The following is endless blathering about how interesting my kids are lately. This verbal diarreah does not mean to assume any sort of developmental superiority of my children. It is more likely an indication of how my kids may one day end up on the wrong side of law. Also, it is an indication that I have no life.

Avery is becoming ever more verbal. He doesn't do party tricks like Bowie did (Bruce Lee and Jet Li imitations) but he's now able to say, "Moy!" (don't want it), juice, nai-nai (milk), wo-wo sit!, blast off!, and "play!" but he still can't quite say "Mommy" with any kind of clarity or consistency. If he sees any exposed thigh or belly, he runs at it to give it a big, sloppy razz (which sometimes turns into a bite). He learns words that are of personal interest quickly if not accurately (Jello is Je-no, marshmallow is ma-no-no). And the boy is learning to fight! If he has a long stick of any kind, he'll run at people yelling "Da-da!" which means "Hit-hit!" Today, he was playing with the condensation on the window and he gave my sister a questioning look. "Moisture" didn't work with him so she told him, "Sup, sup" meaning "wet" which her repeated over and over as he slapped at the window.

Bowie is up to all her old tricks and some new ones. Today, she lost sight of us for a moment at Ikea. She let out short gasp of fear and realization then walked back to where we were last but still did not see us (it was crowded). I watched as she approached a nice looking old lady and said, "Excuse me. Where is my mommy?" Good for her.

But my latest favourite is when she pulled a "sword" from her back, pointed it at him and demanded, "BOW TO ME!"

You tell him, Bowie.

Restaurant Review: The Rushton

One kid-less evening, the hubby and I knew vaguely that we wanted a very nice yet fairly casual dinner but didn't want to go to our usual spots. Driving along St.Clair West, I told him to "Stop the car!" because a pleasant looking corner restaurant with large windows immediately beckoned with the promise of good times. From the street, I noticed stacked stone walls lit with LED lights contrasted by antique light fixtures hung from the ceiling and candles at the tables. It was almost full for Monday night around 6:30 which was another indication that this was likely a good place to go. The menu had many of my favourites such as moule et frites, crab cakes, braised lamb shanks, and duck confit. It also had some impressive looking burgers. All in all, the food was mostly very good, the servers young, attractive, and pleasant, and atmosphere great. Definitely worth another visit.

I don't know about this.....

I've ranted previously about my dismay over "Phantom of the Opera: The Musical Part 2." I don't think I've ever mentioned, but "Lord of the Rings: The Musical" was a disaster. Now I hear on the radio that they have "Spiderman: The Musical," apparently the most expensive musical to be produced. I'm sure the rights weren't cheap nor was hiring Bono of U2 to do the music.

Don't get me wrong. I love both off-beat and traditional musicals. Pop culture based musicals also have their place as I've thoroughly enjoyed "Cobra: The Musical," and "Evil Dead: The Musical." (I'm hoping to see "The Toxic Avenger: The Musical.") The genre is fun and can make even the most dismal and depressing of topics fun and up beat (Urinetown).

But Spiderman? Like Lord of the Rings, I think this is just another money grab off of something that is currently hip and already has a large fan base that enjoy spending money. And of course, I'm part of that demographic. Here you go, Stan Lee.

Slip of the Tongue

I recently went to an Equity Symposium to further enlighten and reinforce the good examples and interventions we need to be and make as educators. While there, I met a high school teacher. I asked her what she taught: "Design and technology. We plan, design and build things that the students are interested like a one bedroom home, a line of designer clothing, a landscape project or a new vehicle. Then the students present them to each other and even to other schools or universities." My reply, "This week, we're learning the letter F!"

Here's a short and empowering (and entertaining) video they presented:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQZwZVBDAHI

I was there first

I guess I'm not being very anonymous by showing this article, but it annoys me to the point of writing about it. Not so much that another baby has the same name as my daughter, or that it is very unique (less so now), but oh-my-goodness not named after David Bowie, no way. Both parts of her name after musical inspirations? Oh, no. Dad happens to be a DJ but, no. It simply could not be. So to those who don't know, my daughter IS named after David Bowie, and my son IS named after Jimi Hendrix.....and possibly the stationary company.

From Wiggles to Wu Shu

It's been crazy between work, the kids, and trying to have a life (and a clean house). So in the last 3 days, I've been at the cottage, at the Wiggles concert, and at the World Wu Shu competitions.
I think I'm slowly becoming a crazy Mommy-fan as I felt quite excited to see the four fellas live in concert. Oh, and btw: Anthony Wiggle...hotness confirmed. I love a man who is confident and who obviously enjoys making a fool of himself on stage. Apparently Anthony (and other characters) have been taking yoga and gymnastics. This performance was very Cirque Du Soleil - esque. My hot blue Wiggle did the splits, hand stands, rolls and floor routines in addition to singing "Fruit Salad." What really made me smile was when he shrank into his blueberry costume and rolled away singing "Age of Aquarius" just for fun.

So from Wiggles to Wu Shu...I've just returned from the competitions. Amazing. We managed to catch the Women's sword routines, the Men's routines, and some matches. And now, I'm spent.

Restaurant Review and Hot Men: Susur Lee

Damn you, Susur Lee! You have ruined so many of my meals out because nothing compares to you.
Recently, I went with good friends to "Farmers Night" at Cowbell. It featured local lamb and wine from a local producer. Very promising especially since the lamb fed on the grapes. Really fascinating discussions on production and pairing. Unfortunately, my expectations for fine food has been warped by the culinary skills of Susur Lee. Sadly, this God of Cookery has gone to New York to find new challenges and has left me pining for someone to impress me the same way. It certainly doesn't hurt that the man is a stoic beauty. Long black hair and a chiseled face that often wears a look of stern contemplation. The way he treats his food as an art and the way he respects the kitchen makes other "leading" Toronto chefs (i.e. Mark McEwan) look like line cooks.

There is promise though still far from the ability of Susur. A dinner at the Drake Hotel produced an unbelievably delicious "Sexy Beef Brisket." Looking like steak but cuts like butter, this super tender beef was so tasty I will definitely go back for more. Hubby's halibut was less stellar but still good.

Hubby-isms: Third Installment

We've had a dry spell either because his English has improved or he's wise to this blog. So here's a selection from today, some oldies from years back, and a few from guest contributors.

Discussion over dinner about some idea he had.

Hubby:...and so I was thinking and suddenly a light bulb started ringing in my head.



Science and Language...not my hubby's strong points

Hubby: You can't microwave water!

Me: Why not?

Hubby: Because of the neurons in the water!

Me: Neurons?

Hubby: I mean electrodes.


The sister on her wedding dress.

Sis: So what do you think?

Me: It's beautiful. Is it too long?

Sis: Yeah, I may have to edit it.


My daughter on a walk and she suddenly hugs a steel post.

Ohhhh!!!! My favourite tree!!!

Taking care of Business

I'm back to work after a long hiatus with two kids. Though I wanted to teach kindergarten when I returned, getting what you want doesn't always work out. If a blacklight were held up to me at the end of the day, I would look like a CSI crime scene. These are some of the personalities I've been working with:

The New Arrival: Not one word of English or any language you understand. You can't pronounce their name so they don't respond. It's pointless trying to tell them they can't eat paste.

The Neglected: Parents don't read anything you send home. They hang up on you. They send a babysitter or neighbour to pick them up. They don't send proper shoes or a snack unless two stalks of green onions still covered in dirt count (I'm serious).

The Crier: Can last 5 minutes to as much as 2 weeks. Can cry for a full 2.5 hours non-stop. Will cry during any transition. Will cry when others cry. Will start crying again when they realize they are having fun.

The Screamer: Similar to the Crier except for the incredible octaves they can achieve.

The Runner: Takes every opportunity to run for the door. Any door. Runners must be stopped by tackling and using moves similar to those found in UFC.

The Siamese Twins: Won't do anything without each other and will become Criers if told otherwise.

The O.D. Kid: Will give you a hell of a time if you ask them to do ANYTHING. Will refuse to do anything you request even if its something they want to do.

The Passive Aggressive Kid: Similar to the O.D. Kid, but instead of yelling, NO! they will give you cut eyes, the evil eye, or a blank stare that can last all class.

Little Miss Bossy: Exactly that. Knows everything. Does nothing.

The Baby: Was born in the end of December so qualifies to enter Kindergarten even though they are barely 3 years old.

The Giant: Often mistaken for a 3rd Grader, the Giant was born in January and is the Baby's direct opposite (and often, best friend).

The As-Yet-Undiagnosed: You know there's something wrong. You know that Mom knows something's wrong. A mountain of paper work will need to be done upon the entry of this kid.

The Diagnosed: This fully behavioural darling comes with paperwork already done. Drawbacks are the parents want them integrated into your class of New Arrivals, Neglected, Criers, Screamers, Runners, Twins, OD, Passive-Aggressive, Bossy, Baby, and Giant kids.

Hot Men: Men with Wings

Apparently, Angels are the new Vampires. Gorgeous and duty bound, angels are getting a lot of attention as sexy and strong. Rarely are they portrayed as angelic or pious in popular media. More often they are warrior-like and yet carry a great deal of emotional burden. This juxtaposition of strength and fragility is certainly appealing to many. Check out Michael and Gabriel in the new trailer for Legion.

Restaurant Review: Panorama

Our anniversary happened right after my antibiotics were finished, and on the same day as the hubby's first day back to work from his 5 month, pat leave. Both excellent reasons to start drinking with abandon. C5 was unfortunately closed on Monday so we decided to walk about and "discover" a place to go. After a tempting presentation at Bay Bloor Radio, we ventured up to the 51st floor of the Manulife Building to Panorama. This resto-lounge had a great view and even had outdoor patios. Though full of tourists, it was still a great place with more drinks on the menu than food. However, the food was good. I recommend the $26 seafood appetizer platter full of fat shrimp, smoked salmon and mussels. Crab cakes were dissappointing (too small) but the mediterranean pizza was delicious. At first, the chicken on it came very dry and against my personal restaurant beliefs, my hubby sent it back and asked for another one. It came back prompt, clean, and improved. Our server was great. I think this would be a great place to go with friends for drinks. Not cheap, but the view is worth it.

Too bad I am so ill again. I'm sure drinking on a cold patio didn't help.

1st Birthday

Well, my little guy has turned one! The last couple of months have been fascinating as he's showing such rapid development. He's just beginning to stand for a few seconds at a time. He points and can name a few things, his favourite being "daung-daung (light)!" In total, he's got about 10 - 12 words. I'm happy to say that he's finally got "ma-ma" but not before "wo-wo" (dog), "yum" (drink), "nai-nai" (milk) and "che-che" (big sister). Also, the little dude can put up a good fight. He and his 2.5 year old sister were duking it out over a sippy cup while sitting in the basket of those Flintstones-styled bikes at Centre Island. UFC!

His birthday celebration was shared by auntie who has turned the big 3-0. Happy Birthday, Yee-Yee!

Hubby-isms (2nd installment)

Hard to believe I got 3 gems in one day. Oh, plus the extra from the sisters:


In regards to food:

Mmm. This is as tender as a banshee.


I don't even remember what he was referring to:

It's as heavy as the mother of all mongoose.


In a discussion about child safety:

The kids aren't made of glasses.


And over dinner I was talking about my purchase from Secrets from my Sister:

Me: I love this bra!

Him: You love this bar?

Me: .....????.......Are you auditorily dyslexic?

Restaurant Review: Pure Spirits Oyster House

Top: Pure Spirits back in the day when they were making pure spirits.

Bottom: This is the after picture. HGTV sent a design crew in to fix the joint up. :)

The hubby and I went to this Distillery District restaurant for his post-birthday celebration. Pure Spirits looks small in comparison to the Boiler House restaurant next door but it is still a snazzy setting. We sat in the patio and had fresh baked bread which was a god-send as I was starving. Following that, we had crab cake as an appetizer. It was tasty but I was disappointed by the size of the lone crab puck.

It went downhill from there as my muscovy duck breast was chewy and a little overdone. The hubby's Ahi Tuna was tasteless and paired with equally bland fingerling potatoes. Not terrible. Certainly not wonderful. In retrospect I should have told the owner, an elderly gentleman, who drifted to each table to ask how people were enjoying themselves.

I normally make it a rule of thumb not to complain about food unless it is blatantly horrible or dangerous (hubby had shards of glass in the bottom of his drink at Milestones). I've worked in a few kitchens in the past and I know that complaints can bring about some terrible deeds by disgruntled cooks or waitstaff. I find it best to simply avoid ordering the same dish in the future or eating elsewhere. If you choose to complain about the food DO NOT send the dish back and have it "fixed." It will get fixed alright. If it is really that horrible, ask for an entirely different dish. However, I find it is best to let the management or waiter know after your main course is done. Sometimes they will compensate with a discount on your bill or a complimentary dessert. Being courteous and discreet will work in your favour as this will be appreciated by management.

Hubby-isms (1st installment)

When it comes to home repairs, financial operations, and general tinkering, my husband is quite the pro. But when it comes to language, the results can be hilarious. Here are a few examples:

While cleaning up the garage:

"Why did you write 'PLUM' on that box?"
"It's short form."
"For what?"
"Plumbing."

General comments:

"That sticks out like a sore eye-thumb."

And my favourite...

"It worked like a glove."

Rock-A-Bye Baby

After a recent trip to the library, I found a couple of really interesting CD's that piqued my interest. Lullabies played using twinkly sounding glockenspiel, vibraphone, mellontron and other instruments, playing popular tunes by Metallica and Green Day.

Having two kids named after rock stars, I thought this would just be PERFECT for them until I actually listened to "Enter Sandman" on what sounded like an xylophone. Creeeeeeepy.

"Basketcase" on the other hand, was cutesy but it all gets sickening after a few minutes. There's even Nine Inch Nails. Wow.

Lesson learned: If you want to rock. Rock hard.

New Motherhood Discoveries!

I found something that is ACTUALLY more disgusting than vomit, pee, poo, snot and saliva.

It's MOULDY vomit, pee, poo, snot and saliva!

Thank you John Sr. for taking our garbage to the dump.

Birthday gifts

Last Father's Day, I wanted to get something for the hubby that he would want AND enjoy. After much thought, I ran out at the first opportunity and got him a tera-byte external hard drive AND UFC: Undisputed for the PS3. I figured if he liked both, great. If he didn't like one as much, I'll return the other. As it turned out, he said they were both nice but they were too expensive and he would actually prefer this ladder he saw in an ad. So, I returned both gifts and went with him to buy the ladder only to find the ladder didn't meet his expectations.

So no gift and here is his birthday looming before me and I am back to square one. Here are my new thoughts:
A GPS: He mentioned it passingly and we get lost often.
A cutting tool kit: On sale for half the price and he mentioned it.
The elusive ladder: I could try.
Planter and plant: He'd like one for the front of the house though it's a risk.
Shiny new house numbers: He mentioned it long ago. I know he doesn't like our current ones.

Any ideas are welcome. Wish me luck!

Toddler antics

Here's an update on some of my two year old's antics:

* After walking one block to the playground, she says: "Too far. I lazy!"

* She gives her brother a playful pat on the bum then scrunches up her nose: "Ewww. Stanky! Pee pee diaper!"

* I walk by and notice she is delicately slicing away at a stuffed animal with a butter knife and placing imaginary bits into a teacup: "What are you doing?" I ask. "Shhhh. Piggy is sick." And she continues the operation. When done, she picks him up, tucks it into bed. "There. Better."

Restaurant Review: Collingwood's 3 Guys and a Stove vs. The Stuffed Peasant

The hubby and I have just returned from a 3 day vacation from the kids. We decided to go to Collingwood as it has a few enjoyable activities (Treetop excursion-zip lines- Scenic Caves and the awesome Scandinave Spa). Far too cold for Wasaga Beach unfortunately, and visiting Midland, Ontario was a huge dissappointment. Food-wise, we found two places worthy of discussion:

Our first proper dinner was at Three Guys and a Stove in the Village at Blue Mountain (a make-believe village that I liken to Disneyland for skiiers). The tag line of the restaurant is: "For People with Great Taste," reassuring the diner that they have made a sage decision to eat there. Friendly staff and a casual interior bedecked by framed photos of food taken from the cookbook of Jeff Suddaby. I thought this was kinda weird and tacky, almost like a take-out counter menu, it only lacked the prices. The menu looked promising. We started with a Risotto cake atop a seasoned, fried tomato. It was drizzled with what I can only describe as hot sauce and then adorned with a pickled onion chutney. We agreed that the intention and creativity was there but it lacked proper balance and execution. Too sour, too hot, too fried. If the chutney was replaced with fresh green grapes and the hot sauce with say, a balsamic vinegar drizzle, this dish would have greater harmony. Lamb meatballs on couscous and mushroom risotto with lamb had similar issues of discord. Again, great ideas...poor execution.

The next night, we went into the downtown strip of Collingwood to The Stuffed Peasant. A small but pleasant space, we chose this location because it was one of the few places that was open at 9:30 p.m. We started with grilled calamari on a bed of sauteed cabbage. It was so simple but so perfectly cooked. The calamari was fresh and whole and cooked til just tender and drizzled with oil, lemon, salt and pepper. Ballontine chicken with rapini and lentils and my dish, liver with beets and mashed potatoes were also perfectly cooked and properly seasoned. And thought we were full to bursting, we ended with Frangelico creme brulee because we wanted to know if this chef's skill extended to his desserts. It did.

It is so true what they say. Eat where the locals eat.

Hot Men: Anthony Wiggle

A sure sign I'm watching too many children's programs...Anthony Field, aka Anthony Wiggle of "The Wiggles" is very handsome. I must be very specific here, as he looked awful in the earlier years of the Wiggles (see left pic), but is now sophisticated and refined looking with his light blue eyes and graying temples. Of all the Wiggles, he seems always to be slightly (deliberately?) out of step and genuinely enthusiastic in their videos. Something I find very endearing.

Alarmingly, I am not the only one. I just came across an article, Who's the Hottest Wiggle? Good god. It's a mommy thing.

First Words

This evening while I was feeding my 10 month old son some mango, I heard his first word. Not "mama" or "dada" or "baba" as the hubby and I have been expecting and betting on. His first words were, "Mum-mum" which basically means "Food!" in a Cantonese baby-talk. Yes, he's not a mama's boy or daddy's boy. I gave birth to a foodie like me.

Restaurant Review: DT Bistro

The hubby and I had another date night a few weeks ago and we decided to try DT Bistro on Harbord Street. What a treat. It was modern and sophisticated yet still maintained a laid back atmosphere. We sat in a quaint area too narrow for strollers or high chairs. The prix fixe is a great deal at $25 for three courses including coffee or tea but if you order a la carte, you will still find good value. Our crab cake salad starter was a beautiful stacked affair, and though tasty, the crab itself left something to be desired. We also had a mushroom tart which was a surprisingly delicious array of saucy, sauteed mushrooms in a pastry shell topped off with greens. Our mains were heavy for the season, lamb shank and braised beef, but perfect for those with larger appetites. Rich and toothsome, both meats were tender and full of flavour from the reduced vegetables which disappeared as a result of the braising. The real treat however, are the desserts. Upon arrival, you are greeted with the sight of a refrigerated case full of their signature desserts. Like a jewelery display, each dessert was a delicate sight to behold. We chose a passion fruit parfait held in an edible white chocolate sphere. Tart and sweet.

I recommend this place for date nights, coffee dates, or just desserts.

The Day the Music Died...

I turned on the radio and for once, I didn't turn it to my usual retro or old rock stations. The first song I listened to had this refrain:




Girl you know I-I-I
Girl you know I-I-I
I've been feenin'
Wake up in the late night...dreamin' about your lovin'
Girl you know I-I-I
Girl you know I-I-I
Don't need candles or cake
just need your body to make good

Birthday sex
Birthday sex

It's the best day of the year, girl

Birthday sex
Birthday sex

It feels like, feels like... lemme hit that...g-spot g-spot

I allowed the song to finish as I listened on in horror. The next song's refrain was:

Don’t trust a hoe
Never trust a hoe
Won’t trust a hoe, won’t trust me!

Shush girl
Shut your lips
Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips

At which point, I put in my CD of "Sunset Boulevard" and enjoyed some real music.

Hot Men: Zeltron Males

If you like your humanoids flexible, svelte, enthusiastic, and in multiple shades of red, then the most beautiful people in the galaxy are on Zeltros. Who needs Twi'leks?"

―Ruudi Buundaz^[src]

They forgot to mention, totally GAY looking.

In Star Wars issue 95, they not only helped Leia fight, but also did her hair, tailored her dress, and massaged her before her diplomatic banquet. I want one.

Restaurant Review: Olivia @53

Recently, the hubby and I had a date night consisting of movie and dinner. My only criteria nowadays for a dinner spot without the kids is a place that is preferably narrow, with stairs, and does not have monkeys, clowns, jungles, change tables, or chicken fingers. We found this perfectly adult spot on Clinton just a couple steps north of the College street chaos. It was wonderful. A beautiful, old victorian styled home that was converted into a fine dining establishment. Many of the old original fixtures are intact and they even have a private dining room in the basement. They also have a beautiful back patio which is accessible only by walking right through the kitchen!

The items on the menu are not incredibly exciting. However, what we did order was very well executed:

Squid ink infused linguine with sauteed tiger shrimps, wild leeks and asparagus in a Chardonnay sauce

Pan roasted arctic char served on cream leeks with sauteed seasonal vegetables, saffron basmati and wild rice.

The dessert we ordered was disappointing: flour-less chocolate cake with chili. It was hard when it should be dense. Also, the chili was unevenly distributed in the cake, fluctuating from no spice in one bite, to full of gritty seeds in another.

All in all, still a good place to go again for a romantic evening out without the kids.

Weaning Time...

My 9 month old son has been teething in agony for the last week. He's got his bottom two, then his upper canines (looked like a vampire!) and now his front-top teeth are coming in. This time around however, seems so much more difficult. He's been drooling, feverish, cranky, and now he has rosacea. During this ordeal, I've had barely any sleep and worst yet, trying to breast feed him is now a practice in fear and anxiety...for me. He will be sucking away contently and out of the blue, SNAP! Down come all the teeth! Imagine putting the most sensitive part of your body into, let's say, a stapler. Or perhaps under a rocking chair. Or a car door. The problem is, most of the time it's just fine. When it does happen, he not only bites but he hangs on and pulls his head back.

Time to start the bottle.

My little girl is growing up too fast

My daughter and I were getting dressed, ready to go out. As I finished dressing, the final thing I did was put my breast pads into my bra (I'm lactating, not trying to look bigger, btw). Wide eyed, she yells, "I want boobies! I want boobies!" and proceeds to open the cabinet, take 2 breast pads and one panty-liner and runs away. "You don't need those!" I yell after her to which she continues yelling, "I want boobies!!" She stuffs the pads into her shirt and peels the panty-liner and sticks it across her leg. "Ouchy" she says, pointing to the panty-liner. "You don't know the half of it, honey."

Nightmares come true

I've returned from a trip to Cuba with my parents and both my kids...a first in many respects. I went into this trip anticipating some stress and hard work so having a number of my thematic nightmares come true really shouldn't be a surprise.

Wrong footwear: In some dreams, I go somewhere important with the wrong shoes or no shoes at all. This is in the same vein as giving a speech wearing no clothes (which did not happen). We were so busy packing trip bags and the kids for our early morning excursion into Holguin that I neglected to change my shoes. So I'm in the third largest city in Cuba wearing my slippers.

Being late: In my dreams, I am late for class, test, lecture, or work. I really wanted my daughter to get to the Mini-Disco on time because she would love it and was a shoo-in to win title of Dancing Queen. An agonizing combination of slow eating, slow walking, and lack of efficiency from the group caused us to miss the whole thing.

Not touching the ocean: Ever since I began traveling to sunny destinations, I've had dreams where I'm on holiday and I realize that I must return home without having had the chance to even touch the water. In reality I TOUCHED the water on the second day briefly. And once again for an hour to snorkle once I arranged my parents to babysit. This was excruciating.

Not eating: A less common dream theme but it came true. Between two babies and lots of washroom trips, I ate too little, too quickly at times. The worst was when we were already late for breakfast and by the time I fed and diapered the kids, the buffet was closed.

Spiders: Saw two big ones in the room. The hubby took care of them fortunately.

Inequality: No one's fault but my own and I have a tendency to be a martyr. My parents helped a lot, don't get me wrong. Especially my mother. My hubby helped too. I just felt that my mom and I did a whole lot more in respects to child care vs. play and relaxing. Would also have liked to have been acknowledged on Mother's Day. Too bad.


Still...it was a good trip as everyone really enjoyed themselves especially my parents. It was a lovely resort and the food was good. At least my funhouse nightmares didn't come true!

Inspired Cooking

Having returned from a week in Cuba (more on that later), I was actually inspired to try a few new things in the kitchen. First of all, if you read any travel reviews, most people warn not to expect good food in Cuba. I thought the food was mostly very good! In the last two days, I've made stuffed baked peppers, sausage rolls, and seared duck breast.

I've made duck breast before but I learned how to properly flambe while watching the cooks make fried bananas in orange liquer and rum. After searing the breasts, I added red wine, marmalade, and Grand Marnier, tipped the pan towards the open flame then...

...it will take a few weeks to grow my eyebrows back.

Hot Men: Jude Law (A.I.)

Simply put, Jude Law as the Love-Bot in A.I. was hot. His plastic perfection could be likened to a warm blooded mannequin with personality. Programmed for pleasure!

Mmm...Beefcake

Above: Beefy Birthday Cake Surprise (Meatloaf, mashed potato icing and vegetables)
Below: Rib-Cage Corral (Bbq ribs, mashed potato foundation, broccoli and cow garnish).


I have some very special friends, each with their own talents, interests, and abilities. Sophia and Ray have a love for the unexpected, the unusual, and the bovine. I decided to create a special birthday dinner for Sophia and the result is seen above: "Beefy Birthday Cake Surprise" and the "Rib-Cage Corral."

Creating a "Chook-Sing"

Bowie antics update:

Last night at the ROM, Bowie runs to each of the Chinese deities in the Ancient China gallery going: "Hola Amigo!"

At the grandparents, Bowie stares at the little ants running around the floor and says, "Hoe-do bee."

When asked asked what colour the crayon was, she replies: "Blue-sik".

What a great little "chook-sing" we are raising.

Hot Men: Orlando Bloom as Legolas

Though Orlando Bloom has a huge fan following, I am not one of them. I actually prefer his portrayal of the character Legolas because, to me, Orlando never seems to exude the same sexiness in his other roles. There are many girls and women I know whose hearts flutter at the image of this blond, elven warrior. What is it about him? A powerful and graceful presence. The hair, the ears, the keen senses, and skill with a bow. Light enough to walk atop powder snow yet deadly enough to take down hordes of enemies atop an olephant. Who wouldn't want him?

There are those who prefer the "manlier" Aragorn with his rough chin and unkempt hair. Personally, I like a man who keeps himself clean.

Hmm...blond, elven warrior...blond, goblin king? I'm seeing a pattern here.

So, he thinks I can dance.

My husband recently informed me that auditions for "So you think you can dance" will be taking place in Toronto. "Uh-huh...and?" And he thinks I should try out.

Ok. Some background is needed.

Yeah, I enjoy dancing. Yeah, I was part of a "Dance Club" in high school and did a major part in helping choreograph. Yeah, I was often the lead dancer. And...that's about it. No professional training. No splits. Rather lousy flexibility. If anyone actually saw those high school performances, you would basically see variations on jazz leaps, step-together-steps, box steps, and several made up movements using props. We've used fake snow, hula hoops, and ribbons. We've dressed up as dolls, elves, and I was even a young, female Santa Claus once. However, our "best" performance was to the soundtrack of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." Dressed in cheesecloth and leotards, we "vampires" walked in with candles then pranced about in our pale makeup.

I can just imagine the comments from the judges if I were to try that again.

Honey, how about I just dance for you? :)

Freakin' Four A.M.

I hate 4am.

It's a weird cusp in the day when all is really, really still. And if anything is going on, it can only be bad. My son woke up wheezing and gasping desperately for air the other night right at 4 am. We all got dressed and drove our sorry, pajama clad asses to Sick Kid's Hospital.

Even at the hospital at 4:20am, it was eerily calm. Not a single patient in the emergency room (which even the hospital staff thought was remarkable). Too bad that even with NO OTHER PATIENTS in the emergency ward, it still took 2 and a half hours! Crazy.

It turned out to be croup which sounds more alarming than it really is. And now, here I am. Strangely stressed out over the past 2 weeks and incredibly sleep deprived. I haven't been able to relax enough to get to sleep even though I am wickedly tired.

4am. I wonder if I'll be awake again at that time tonight. Last call is 2am. Bar staff clean up and should leave by 3am. Even party goers have eaten their hot dogs and gone home or are passed out in their own vomit. Those with early jobs like cooks and bakers rarely start until 5am. And those in 24 hour jobs are quietly waiting out their shifts because no one would schedule a shift change at 4am. And so there it is. 4 am is the bitching hour. If you are out at 4 am, you should be arrested, consoled, or driven to the hospital.

Translating for a Toddler

While walking towards our local grocery store, my daughter says:

"Mommy. Obama. Up."

Translation:

"Mommy, I see the Canadian flag on the roof of the grocery store."

Hot Men: David Bowie (1980’s – 2000, Labyrinth)

My very favourite, number one hot man is none other than legendary rocker, David Bowie. Though an iconic character chameleon, he manages to exude an irresistible magnetism whether he’s in platforms and full make up or in a perfectly tailored suit. My favourite Bowie period however, is between the 80’s until around 2000. My first encounter with David Bowie was not through his uber-successful music career but through the Jim Henson movie “Labyrinth.” As a teenager, I was enraptured with the tall mystical character he played, Jareth the Goblin king. With long wild hair, flowing cape, tights, boots and make up, I was soon fantasizing that I was the heroine Sarah, and accepting his invitation to be loved and ruled by him forever! Soon afterward, I tried to find out everything I could about Bowie and became a fan. Time has passed too quickly and suddenly it's twenty years later and this movie is now considered a “cult classic.” And since the movie is twenty years older, so is he. Mind you, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed now. The jowls are dropping and the overindulgence of the 70’s and 80’s are showing, but he continues to make me catch my breath with his startling eyes, lean figure, and throaty voice. I’m so glad my husband is so understanding.

It's not over, the music of the night...

There are times when a good thing should be left alone. Andrew Lloyd Weber apparently, cannot do that. He has decided to make a sequel to his incredibly successful The Phantom of the Opera, calling it “Love Never Dies”. Based on the novel by Frederick Forsyth, The Phantom of Manhattan has been described by reviewers as a complete disaster. In the preface, it has the audacity to question Gaston Leroux’s (the author of the original story) “version” of the story in regards to various character’s ages, motives, and intents. The Phantom of Manhattan has Erik (the Phantom) as 27 (Leroux has him at 50) and the murders Erik commits as accidents. For goodness sakes! It’s a friggin’ story made up in Leroux’s head!
This is what else is planned for the sequel:
From Access Hollywood: The follow-up to “Phantom,” which debuted in 1986 with Michael Crawford in the lead role, will take place a decade after the original, with the story set on Brooklyn’s Coney Island.
And the Phantom, who disappears at the end of the original musical, will reunite with lost love Christine.

…and what? Get married? Have kids? Stooooooopid!

Scenario:
Christine: Erik? Erik? Is that you?
Erik: Christine! It's been ages!
Christine: I almost didn't recognize you.
Erik: Oh, I had some surgery done. How's Raoul?
Christine: Oh, him. We broke up ages ago. (Flutters eyelashes flirtatiously)
Cue the orchestra, Phantom and Christine break into glorious song.


It’s obvious that they decided that they haven’t made enough money from the original musical and merchandise. Weber, you idiot. Leave well enough alone...that's all I ask of you!

Ode to food

I think it is fitting to begin my first blog post on one of my greatest passions: food. A few friends consider me a gourmet, most others, including myself, a foodie. Whatever the term may be, I know that since I was little, the domestic domain was one of my favourite imaginary pastimes. Shelling maple seeds as though they were peas and then frying their fresh green seeds in the sun til they were brown. Using my plastic bowling set as chicken drumsticks and a big black coconut, roasting them over a pretend fire fashioned from an archaic exercise contraption that I imagined to be a spit. Everything around me a potential food toy. From my lego bricks (little pieces of stir fry), to ping pong balls (eggs), to the foliage in the garden (salad), the world was my all-u-can-eat buffet. Imagine my joy when I received a working miniature kitchen that had running water through its faucets and light up stove elements, my penquin shaped refrigerator, and my Fischer Price hot plate!
Now on the wrong side of 30, I own 2 toy kitchens and a beautiful assortment of miniature food items, thanks to Japanese collectable toy makers. My daughter has just turned 2 and has received a lovely kitchen playset with bubbling and sizzling sounds. And so, I have come full circle. I now sit and enjoy watching her make megoblock cake and teddy bear stir fry. Isn’t life grand?